Jun E Caniel

Stepping Out

In Thoughts on October 8, 2010 at 4:22 am

I never fancied myself a blogger.  Most of the things I write are hidden away in a remote corner of my closet, waiting in spiral notebooks for my death so they may finally be read by someone else.  My closest friend says I have something important to share with the world and blogging is a great way to do it.  So, I will try it (deep sigh).  Instead of worrying about a specific theme for my blogs, I’d rather write about whatever is on my mind.  Lol… I guess that is the whole purpose of blogging anyway, right?

So what’s on my mind?  Mainly my latest adventure called entrepreneurship.  I quit my job! Yes!  Every time I think about being self-employed, I literally giggle.  What an exciting and stressful endeavor! I quit my job at the end of September to pursue fashion design.  I know many people do not understand it or me, for that matter.  This is something I’ve come to grips with.  I’m not fazed.  A part of me keeps saying I should be more stressed, more afraid of what’s to come… I don’t feel it.  I’m too busy working on my business and enjoying my freedom.

Too much of my adult life has been spent on other people’s time.  I gave eight hours or more of my weekdays investing in other people’s dreams, “earning” leave time, and not being fulfilled.  At age 29, I have decided I’ve had enough of other people putting their hands on my time.  I can’t get it back! It’s priceless! It’s MINE!  No one else should have access to it without my say.  I abhor earning leave and then having to ask for permission to use it.  It’s ridiculous.

With that said, I am currently experiencing a so-called down period.  No car (it’s in the shop…$2K to get it fixed), broke (my profits have not physically manifested yet), a few let downs, and very few friends.  I am confident that all of this will change soon.  Stepping out on faith is very hard to do.  I am definitely in an unfamiliar place, but I revel in the discomfort because I am moving toward what I know God has for me.  As soon as I committed to working towards my goals, things began falling into place.  When things go wrong, I appreciate the challenges but I am not deterred from the race to see my vision manifested. I have always been different but I never realized how different until I committed to my goals.  Others look at me differently when I say I am self-employed, some with envy and others with perplexity.  In my mind, I am pretty normal.  I’m just not considered to be by most.  I believe many entrepreneurs can relate to this, especially the successful ones.

T. Caniel

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